My Ride or Die
“Son you have to ask the Holy Spirit if it’s okay to punch someone first”
Words no one EVER told me I’d be telling my son someday.
Yes! I legit 100% said these words to my son tonight!
Guys, this post is NOT pro-fighting! This post is not pro-bullying! This post is real, open and honest!
I can promise you I have messed up in parenting and I can guarantee you I’ll mess up again. (Probably within the first hour of the kids waking up tomorrow morning. Just pray for me, Okay?)
So the story I’m going to write about is not the hard and fast rule for everyone. I’m by no means saying, “I’m amazing. Do what I do and you’ll have perfect kids!” Nope, I’m so not about to say any rubbish like that.
But guys, I believe parenting is all about learning, growing, and loving and that’s what I’m going to focus on!
Today I learned that you have to ask the Holy Spirit if it’s okay to punch someone before you actually punch them. I know that every experience can be a learning process so today I also learned that sometimes you’re going to say things to your kids that blow your blooming mind even though the words are totally right for you and your family. 🤯
Let’s dive in: My twelve year old son calls me right after school all upset but won’t exactly tell me what’s up. He asked where I was. I tell him that I was just around the corner from the Jr. high school in the slowest line of cars ever and that I’d be there in about 2 minutes (just because you have a honor roll student sticker on your mini van, Susan, doesn’t mean you get to make a U-turn when clearly there is a 🚫↩️ sign! Just saying.)
As soon as I pull up I can see his face is a ball of emotions. So instead of pulling away I park in the lot and ask what’s up.
“I’m suspended”. Cue the tears. “I punched a kid”, my middle schooler son says in pure honesty, embarrassment, and shame.
“YOU DID WHAT? Why? When? Who? Why? Just why?”
He tells me another kid was going through other kids backpacks zipping and unzipping then, taking stuff out and such.
That other child then goes to my sons pack and started unzipping it while it was on his back. Next, my child spun around and gut punched the kid. The kid fell while my son just walked away into his classroom.
Mom brain going 200 miles and hour. All the questions....just all of them come flooding my brain.
“Words child, words! You could have started with, ‘Hey, don’t touch my backpack!’ Or something along those lines!” I explain. “At least you could have started with words, then gone on to the defensive afterwards if needed.”
So no, I am not saying we handled that situation perfectly. But after everything had been handle with the school and the stories had all been told. I had a conversation with my boy about punching and how he could have responded better.
Here’s the deal though, that conversation I had with my 7th grader had the sentence, “Son, you have to ask the Holy Spirit if it’s okay to punch someone first” in it.
I have to say that may be the weirdest sentence I ever have spoken. (At least out loud!)
We talked about bullying and being picked on, self defense, victims, confidence, kindness, wisdom, and being led by the Holy Spirit.
I explained that the Holy Spirit leads sometimes by peace, sometimes by giving us a picture in our mind of what the right actions are, and sometimes by hunches. (I’m sure there are lots of other ways but those were the main ways I could think of right then. My mommy brain was on major overload anyways!)
I asked him if in this case he thought the Holy Spirit had let him to defend himself by punching. He said no. He explained that there was lunch money and his phone in there and he just reacted thinking about those items.
We went on to talk about times when we would need to actually use physical forms of self defense. Which is when I said that odd sentence. I shocked myself. It came out and I knew it was right deep down but still it baffled my mom brain a bit.
The Holy Spirit is not just around to tell us Bible stories, He’s not just around to help us in the flowery or super spiritual times.
The Holy Spirit is our ride or die! The Holy Spirit is in the trenches with us! The Holy Spirit goes to middle school! The Holy Spirit goes through the bullying, pimples and hormones. The Holy Spirit goes through the hard momming days, where you get eyes rolled and feet stopped at you. The Holy Spirit goes through PMS and the scary trips to the principal's office you thought were over when you graduated.
(Why is the principal's office still scary as a 35 year old? When will I grow out of that?)
My ride or die leads me in ALL phases of life. The Holy Spirit cares about the hard stuff, the fun stuff, the Godly stuff, and the mundane stuff.
Yes, He will lead us when to gut punch someone. He will lead us when to buy a home. He will lead us when to hug our kids. He will lead us to teach our kids when and when not to punch people. He will lead us down the path God wants for us if we listen to him.
“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Romans 8:26-28 NLT
First, The Holy Spirit prays for us! He’s not going to waste His time praying for us and then leave us hanging! He’s going to show us by leading us with peace, pictures and as someone once called it “holy hunches.”
Second, the Holy Spirit Know God's will! So he’s going to lead us in the right path, plan and direction!
Lastly, This verse says that God will work EVERYTHING for our good! Even in this situation where we didn’t handle everything perfectly God is still going to work it for our good! The first part say He will “help us in our weakness.” God knows that we can be weak! He knows we will screw up! He doesn’t expect perfection! He expects us to need the Holy Spirit’s help. And that Helper prays for us and leads us in EVERYTHING we go through.
He’s our “ride or die” in jr. high school during exhausted midnight nursing sessions, and even while parenting a pubescent hormonal child that you love deeply and want to kick in the butt simultaneously. He is with us 24/7 365 days a year.
He cares about us so much he will even turn our screw ups around for our good!
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