Part 2 ✌️
God enjoys looking at you
Is God Vain?????
Up on stage, in the middle of leading the church in a powerful worship set, I look down and see my skinny-ish legs and my cute high heels and think,”Goodness, I’m cute. Oh real mature Shilah! Super spiritual, Shilah!” Next, I hear the song, You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you. Again, all this happening while leading worship and singing a song about God's greatness hoping that the congregation has no idea the thoughts that just ran through my mind.
Truth time, time to be vulnerable, This year so far, I have lost a crazy 80 pounds! 80 stinking pounds. That’s more than my 11 year old son who eats 3 PB&J’s for lunch every. single. day! So, when I look in the mirror lately I am loving what I am seeing! I have worked my butt off, literally, to lose this weight and I am proud of myself for making it happen. So yes maybe i’m a bit vain.
So when I looked down in the middle of a be still and know i’m am God moment during worship I couldn’t help but see my new skinny legs. Guilt came almost immediately! But this story is about what my heart heard next that made the guilt leave just as fast. I heard something I’d never thought about, never noticed in the bible, but after researching, found over and over again throughout the scriptures. God spoke to me three things:
Number one: “It’s okay to like looking at yourself because I enjoy looking at you.” - WHAT?!? God, You enjoy just looking at me? Tell me more!
Number two: “I have ALWAYS enjoyed looking at you. No matter what size.” - Okay, Cue the tears. You’re telling me when I was 100 pounds overweight (yes you read that right and yes i’m still working on this last 20ish. No judgement.) You liked looking at me, you saw me as beautiful? You liked seeing not only who I was or the type of person I was but you liked simply looking at me? MIND BLOWN!
Number three: “Learn to enjoy looking at Me.” - Seriously? Melt my heart God! You have my heart and you have my eyes! I never want to stop looking at you in your beauty! Teach me! Help me! I am yours.
What a trip those moments were that are forever etched in my heart! Honestly at the risk of sounding so vain, I have told everyone about this moment because it was so real and so needed. God brought so much confidence to me in one moment. The bible says in Genesis 1:27 that we are made in His image. As i’m typing this I just laughed because it dawned on me that God’s vain too! HAHA. He likes looking at you because you look like Him! We look like God.
So in the last blog we went over a few scriptures showing God looking at us and how he sees us verse how we see ourselves but this week I want to learn to enjoy looking at Him. How? How do we learn to love looking at him.
Ps 123:1-2a I lift my eyes to you, O God, enthroned in heaven. We keep looking to the Lord our God for his mercy,…nlt
Practice. It says we keep looking. So practice makes perfect. Look for his mercy. Make a decision to look for one thing each day that shows God's mercy. Today, my son found a pair of matching socks in the huge clean laundry pile in like 15 seconds. Can I tell you that was God's mercy?! I hate doing laundry. There is 99.99% of the time a clean laundry pile on the chair in the corner of our bedroom. But today when we woke up later than usual God had mercy on my poor housekeeping skills and allowed us to get out the door on time for school. Practice looking for God's mercy every day even in the small things.
Psalms 27:13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.
Next, I think when we realize that we will see God's goodness, then we will learn to enjoying looking at God. This says that we will see his goodness here, today. Not just in heaven but here, now. When we are confident that will will see something good it brings joy. When going to a movie theater to watch a movie for the first time you never know if your going to love it. You hope you will. You hope Chris Hemsworth sweeps Reese Witherspoon off her feet and carries her into their perfect life after a riveting action filled plot line that keeps you on the edge of your seat. But you never know, maybe they have no chemistry together, maybe secretly he’s the bad guy and she’s left broken hearted at the end and you walk away feeling empty inside.
But thankfully Gods not like the movies. God is goodness! When we look to him we can be confident that we will see His goodness in our lives. Looking to him bring confidence. As moms we all need more confident! I am working on momming confidently lately and I can’t do it without looking to my Heavenly Father in all His goodness. When looking to Him we start the cycle over. We enjoy seeing him, we see his beauty, he looks at us and sees beauty, He see himself in us. We see Him in us. We enjoy seeing him…..again and again the cycle repeats and it ends in receiving His goodness and His confidence.
If you’re dealing with low self image, if you feel like you have no confidence, if you think you’re not enough I want to scream from my warm cozy couch as i type, “it’s not true!” You are enough! You are beautiful now. Not just in 20 more pounds but now!! If you look in the mirror and see the flaws first, I hope that knowing that God loves what he sees will help you see the good and dismiss the bad. I’m not saying don’t work to better yourself but I am saying God likes what he sees now. And learning to enjoy looking at God will bring that confidence you’re lacking.
God enjoys looking at you no matter your physical state, he sees you as beautiful. He likes what he sees. Learn to enjoy looking at God. You will see his goodness!
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