Your calling doesn’t change just because you’re going through depression.
I personally feel called to encourage mamas (and just women in general) that they are capable, graced, and anointed in their life!!! (I'm talking to you busy and tired mama!!)
But what happens to that calling when I’m too tired to care? What happens to my calling when I am too exhausted to make it a reality?
Nothing! Nothing freaking happens to my calling! It doesn’t fade! It doesn’t take a break just because I need a break. It still is there waiting to be fulfilled.
Serving on empty is so stinkin’ hard!
I was exhausted! Not from a busy stressful day. But from a relatively easy day. A day where all three of my kids were at school and while they were there I actually took a nap. (Don’t be jealous. Lol) But this, by all accounts, easy day still had me all exhausted!
So after my nap I was waiting in the school pick up line to get the kids after school got out and trying to think of anything else but going back home and falling asleep again felt like pure torture. TORTURE, I say! (now I know where my daughter gets her dramatic flare...her dad obviously.) I was feeling the depression hard that day and wanted nothing more than to sleep away the hours till it passed.
We got home and I started to lay on the couch downstairs again. (because I felt like a better mom if I napped down stairs than actually going up to my comfortable bed) Then the phone rang. To be honest, I didn’t answer! I sent it to voicemail. I didn't feel capable of a adult conversation at that moment. So no, I didn’t want to talk about what my mom friend had done that day or how she wanted to hang out soon or anything really. It just was too exhausting to even think about anyone else but me.
I screened my phone call. (I think of the No Doubt song: "I screen my phone calls. No matter matter matter who calls. I scream my phone calls." 🎼. Anyways back on track)
Turns out, even in today’s culture, my mom friend left a voice message. Shocking I know. Must be serious!
The voice mail said that she needed help....
The kind of help that I selfishly had no interest in giving at that moment. But I couldn’t seem to let it go. This friend of mine had called me and asked for help. Wasn't this part of my calling? Didn't this part of life make me feel fulfilled in knowing I was doing that I felt like I was designed to do? Helping her out when she asked for help weighed heavy on my heart. Still all I wanted to do was close my eyes and fall back to sleep again.
But THIS was what I was made to do! This was what I felt CALLED to do. This was my passion. Being a part of a community of moms who help each other is what I am all about right?!?!
“Couldn’t my calling know that I was on a break? Couldn’t my calling know that I just needed rest? Couldn’t my calling know that I was trying to start my second nap of the day?”, I thought aggressively at my stupid calling in my head.
God’s calling waits for no man or mom! (or nap for that matter.)
Guess what I did ladies???
I freaking got my butt off that couch, chugged some real strong coffee and drove to this mamas house and helped her!
And to be completely honest, when I got there I forgot about me. I forgot that I was running on empty. I forgot I was tired. I forgot that an hour ago I felt useless, pointless and was wanted to just fade away from existence.
God's anointing covered my inadequacy!!!!!
I was able to help my mom friend even though I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer her. I was able to take a step towards my passion in life even though I felt empty inside, even though I felt like I had nothing to give. I showed up for my friend (and for my calling) and realized there was more inside me than I thought.
My calling or purpose in life was begging for me to push past myself and my own strength. And with God's anointing I was able to fulfill His purpose for my life. I felt like I was on empty but out of my serving this mama, I myself, was refilled!
Callings don’t take naps. Our calling isn’t on pause until we feel like hustling to fulfill it.
My calling had not changed just because I felt like I was going through a form of depression. The goals and visions that God had placed on the inside of me did not change just because I felt like I had nothing to offer.
There was more inside of me than I realized. The feeling of tiredness and emptiness and uselessness is not as real as the reality of being anointed and graced to do what God has called us to do!
Anointing is more real than depression any day!
Grace is more real than tiredness!
Our calling is greater than anything we can face!
Now I’m not saying I have always done it right! I definitely have had times where I didn’t get up off my thang and shaked it ‘till I felt better. 🎼 (Yes, I know shaked is not a word but I was channeling my inner James Brown. Okay?!?!) I had for sure sent the previous person to voice mail and did not call them back. (Sorry 😳)
So, I am not saying, “Oh hey everyone, look at how I did it so perfectly…do it my way.” Nope, that’s not what my point is. My point is to encourage you to rely God's anointing to help you fulfill your calling even when you don’t have the "want to" any more. Your calling, after all, is from God so of course He’ll help you to accomplish it!
Continuing in your calling even when you’re exhausted, depressed, or feeling useless and empty can help you overcome those feelings of inadequacy. Pressing on in your work to do what you’re called to do helps remind you that you need Jesus and He has placed grace all over you to push through the hard times!
Your calling doesn’t take a nap!
Anointing is more real than depression any day!
KEEP MOMMING CONFIDENTLY!
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